Figures of speech (don't worry)

Y'know?

It's not easy doing this. There's shadows lurking in my heart and my mind in every step of the way. The distance only exacerbates my distress. All my fears, all my insecurities and all my doubts become wraiths that feed off from this anguish.

You've always known I'm a sensitive person, straight from the start. I remember telling you even before we were 'us'.

I know you won't read this. You stopped caring about this place a long time ago, and maybe it's because of me. But here you'll find a lot of things I'm still planning on how to tell you.

My life isn't easy. I wake up early every morning. Earlier than I'll admit to you, so that you don't worry, so that you won't feel bad about staying up late with me. I spend my minutes following your meamories and making up dreams of which you are the star. But I'm scared. I need you. I need your love, I need your warmth. I need to know that you'll be there waiting, no matter what. But that's not the message I get. With a change in your tone of voice you can put me down in the same way as a wolf pins down its prey. You're the only person who makes my heart skip a beat, but in your wrath, you're the only person who'll make my heart stop.

If you're the one, then you're the one I bust my ass off for.

I really, really do need you. You're a part of me now. And now that's the problem. When you're angry, you're just not there. I don't ever want to lose you. And maybe I'm just stubborn and naïve. Maybe I'm just young, and full of hopes and dreams. But I'd fly you beyond the moon if I could. Take you by the hand and float past the stars. I love you more than I could ever have imagined. I am utterly vulnerable. And I'll give in to your every whim, even if I end up double-crossing myself and those things I've believed in for so long.

Maybe I'm blinded by love.

I know some who will agree.

And as my life twists towards the unknown, I clench your heart close to mine. Not willing to let go. Never let go. 'Till it kills me.